My parents need Home Care but refuse to hire a Caregiver

   On any given day our phone will ring and on the other end, is someones son or daughter who is very concerned about their parents. They have come for a visit which they were meaning to make 8 or 9-months ago and are shocked to find that their parents have declined significantly. It is obvious (at least to the children), that Mom and Dad are going to need the services of a Caregiver if they are going to continue to live at home. {Mom or Dad} or {Mom and Dad} are now having trouble walking, their home once immaculate is now in need of a good cleaning, both have lost weight and there is not much in the refrigerator. Dads favorite chair has a towel on the seat which seems odd until it is discovered he is having incontinence problem.
   So out the door we go, confident we can help, after all we are the highest rated Home Care Company in the area, with a great staff of experienced Caregivers. We knock on the door and are greeted by one of  the children, Mom and Dad are sitting quietly on the coach looking a little confused wondering why we are there. After a brief introductions and some pleasantries, the conversation begins. So Mr.& Mrs Smith, your daughter/son called us this morning because they are concern about you, and asked us to come over to discuss how we can help you.  We can prepare your meals , take care of the grocery shopping, do some light house keeping, change your bed linens, do the wash, take you to the doctor and most importantly help you in the shower.
                         This conversation usually does not go very well 
More times than not, Mom, or Mom and Dad in unison say "WE ARE FINE WE DON'T NEED ANY HELP, WE CAN TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES THANK YOU  FOR STOPPING OVER, GOOD BYE."  A quick glance over to the children reveals a look of disbelief. The thought circling around in their heads is "OH-MY-GOD, my parents have lost their minds what am I going to do"

So what causes this behavior and how should one approach the problem. 

1.  Remain clam, getting upset at your parents is not going to be productive. They are your parents and you are their child and nothing is going to change that.
2. Let the Home Care Company representative try to get through to your parents. Immediately end the conversation however if a hard sell approach is being used. A Skilled Home Care Representatives knows how to handle the situation without being pushy.
3. If that does not work let the Home Care Company leave and sit down with your parents for a heart to heart talk. Tell them how concern you are about their well being and try to find out why they are so resistant to getting a little help around the house. Often times they may feel they are unable to afford Home Care. Medicare unfortunately will not pay for Home Care, which means it must be paid for out of pocket. The fact that In-home-care is not covered by Medicare, comes as a shock to most people who mistakenly assumed Medicare would pay for Home Care when it was needed. Thankfully, in-home-care is not as expensive as many people think. Home Care of Myrtle Beach is the least expensive full service Home Care Company in the Greater Myrtle Beach area. We offer 3-hour shifts which makes our services affordable for most. We can accomplish quite a bit in 3-hours which may be just enough to get Mom and Dad back on track and keep them safe. This approach is far less expensive than the cost of Assisted Living or a Nursing Home. 
4.  Explain to them that a fall at their age can be devastating and they may loss their independence altogether and end up in a nursing home. 
5. Tell them it is much better to prevent a problem than deal with it after one develops (think  fall and fractured pelvis.)
6.  As an owner of a Home Care Company the words I hate to hear most is "WE SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU". Waiting to long to bring in a Caregiver can be very costly and even life threatening.
7. Denial could be the problem. Often times an elderly person does not want to admit they need help. In situations like this, sometimes you have to call in the troops. Enlist the help of other siblings, aunts and uncles, Priest/Rabbi's social workers, and friends. Do not give up, they will appreciate it later. Call us for more ideals we will be glad to try and help. 

Please share your experience below,  it is certain to help other struggling with getting help for their aging parents.